LOS ANGELES, CA. In one of the most innovative and effective cost cutting measures ever seen, the Los Angeles School Board has decided to eliminate learning from all district classrooms.
“This truly is a magic bullet,” said LAUSD superintendant Ramon Cortines. “With this decision we’re able to cut literally millions of dollars in teacher salaries by removing the need for teachers.”
Additional savings will also be realized as the need for books, supplies and even new classrooms vanishes.
Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa who is struggling to balance the city’s budget, beamed at the news. “Learning has long been a divisive factor in our school systems, creating a glaring line between those who ‘know things’ and those who ‘don’t know things’. I’m very excited by this move.”
Students were positive about the changes, saying it would relieve huge pressure to achieve and succeed on tests, projects and of course the dreaded standardized testing.
Education guru Sir Ken Robinson who now resides in Los Angeles was a critic of the measure. “How will America compete on a global stage if we’re not teaching the students anything?” Superintendant Cortines responded, saying, “A, we simply can’t afford the luxry of ‘learning’ anymore, and B, we WILL be competitive on the world stage, but now just in kick ball.”
